Omegle Troll Conversations 2.0

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Where am I?
You: I don't know what's going on.
Stranger: ur talk to random pple
You: Everyone here is illiterate?
You: Oh no...
You: This is awful.
You have disconnected.

Question to discuss:
When did you lose your virginity
Stranger: NEVER
You: In 1962
Stranger: still got it!
You: and i've never fucked since
You: the thing is i was born in 1991
You: so i don't know how it happened
Stranger: just one day you where in 1962 fucking a girls brains out
Stranger: doesn't matter, had sex
You: i wasnt even a sperm cell
You: maybe i got a time machine in the future and fucked a woman
You: good thinking
You have disconnected.

Question to discuss:
Why is everyone here always horny?
Stranger: no
You: Because I want SEX RIGHT NOW
Stranger: xDD
You: and I am a lonely and awful person
Stranger: it happens
You: with a micropenis
Stranger: sad
You: ;_;
You: brb suicide
You have disconnected.

Question to discuss:
Can i get sick from swallowing my dogs semen?
You: yes
You: i got cholera once
Stranger: Yeah dude don't do it
You: they say a dog's mouth is cleaner than a human's but that doesn't work for semen
Stranger: I swallowed horse semen, about 12 ouzes, had to go to the er
You: ounces*
You: spelling things wrong?
You: you sicken me.
You have disconnected.

Question to discuss:
Does God exist?
Stranger: No.
You: yes and no
Stranger: God does not exist.
Stranger: No, just no.
You: I think the idea of religion exists
You: But i'm not sure about god
Stranger: I'm sure the jews did 9/11, you disgusting fuck.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now watching two strangers discuss your question!
Question to discuss:
Would you fuck a panda?
Stranger 1: yeah
Stranger 2: I'd fuck the panda out of it.
Stranger 1: id fuck the bamboo out that hairy bitch
Stranger 1 has disconnected

Question to discuss:
Sexy pineapple
Stranger 1: SEXY BEAM~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!
Stranger 2 has disconnected

Question to discuss:
What are you gonna do with Stranger 2?
Stranger 2: fk him
Stranger 1: lolz, I'm a her
Stranger 2: fk im a her to
Stranger 2: scissor her
Stranger 2 has disconnected

[[^^^I WAS VERY DISAPPOINTED THAT STRANGER 2 DC'D ^^^^]]

Question to discuss:
Why are they trying to make it legal to sell kids? What is your opinion?
Stranger 1: what.
Stranger 2: Kids are fun to rape

Question to discuss:
Why are Kids are fun to rape
Stranger 1: Hi I'm Chris Hansen
Stranger 2: piece of shit!!!!!
Stranger 2: not you the op sorry
Stranger 1: Chris Hansen

Question to discuss:
Stranger 2: piece of shit!!!!! ----- Stranger 2 is talking shit, what should you do?
Stranger 2: show him me naked
Stranger 1: be happy im stranger 1
Stranger 1: that would work
Stranger 2: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/51935367/pussy.jpg
Stranger 1: oh i dont trust this
Stranger 2: your loss
Stranger 2 has disconnected

That link is pr0nz0rz. And safe! He really did miss out.

Question to discuss:
You two are destined to be husband and wife some day. Say hello!
Stranger: hi
You: hi
Stranger: whats your name
You: Want to go out?
Stranger: ?
You: Benny
Stranger: sure :)
You: Yay!
You: Want to go to the movies?
Stranger: benny as in benjamin ?
You: We saw a funny romantic comedy, and shared a popcorn and drink.
Stranger: and yeaa
Stranger: swag
You: It was nice.
You: then we went back to your place and enjoyed the mood.
Stranger: you enjoy the bj you gave me after ?
You: Yeah. Then the day came
You: And you proposed
You: And I was blushing and grinning and laughing and said Yes.
Stranger: then we fucked all day !!!!!
You: We fucked for weeks
You: it was a crazy fuckfest
You: and I was pregnant with baby
Stranger: then we had a kid and i left you for a younger omen
Stranger: *women
Stranger: im sorry
You: So we waited until after the baby was born to get married so we wouldn't have to resize the dress
You: It is great for us now.
You: You are cheating on me, but I'm ok with that.
Stranger: swag
You: You pay the bills and I take care of the kids
Stranger: seriously ,,, how bout you send me a naked pic ?
You: After 174 affairs we're still together, and we're 76.
You: And growing old... and have grandkids out fuckin.
You: And I die.
You have disconnected.
**************
Question to discuss:
Hi, I'm Chris Hansen from Dateline NBC, with "How to Catch a Predator" would you like to take a seat over there while your reading this in my voice? |STRANGER 1 PREDATOR - STRANGER 2 CHRIS HANSEN|]
You: Hiya
You: I hope i'm stranger 1
Stranger: Hmmm very well
You: I just came here with this bag of Wendy's
Stranger: Take a seat right over there
You: I was going to eat burgers
Stranger: and.. what were you
Stranger: a 40 year old man
Stranger: going
Stranger: to
Stranger: do
Stranger: with a bagggg
You: She was hungry, we were talking online, and she said she's been home alone and needs food
You: so i was trying to help
Stranger: OF wendy's
You: i don't kow why i brought condoms
Stranger: Are you "luvs2fuck2333"?
You: Yeah...
You: why? am i in trouble? are you gonna arrest me?
Stranger: we'll talk about that later. First I need to tell you something
You: What's that? >.>
You: <.<
You: >.>
Stranger: I'm Chris Hansen from Dateline NBC
Stranger: And we're doing a story
Stranger: on adults
You: Ooooh noooo...
Stranger: that like to meet kids on the internet
Stranger: for sex
You: *looks at camera*
Stranger: now is there anything you want to say to us?
You: *looks away*
You: I wasn't actually gonna have sex with her
You: I never do this kinda thing
Stranger: well, the chat logs say otherwise
Stranger: now you're free to leave now
You: Ok...
You: *takes off runnin*
You: *gets fuckin owned*
Stranger: What he doesn't know, is that the police were waiting for him
You: GET OFF OF ME MAN
You: im innocent
You: i want a lawyer!
Stranger: Join me next time for a look into a California man, that likes to deficate into the graves of the elderly
You: I'm white trash and I'm in trouble
Stranger: Don't taze me bro!
Stranger: Don't taze me!
You: Thanks stranger, we did a great job.
You: Brofist.
Stranger: <3
Stranger: Brofist
You have disconnected.

Question to discuss:
What is your religion and what do they believe? Why is your religion more truthful than your partners?
You: I wanna eat pie
You: and lots of it
Stranger: Pecan pie.
You: You know what I'm sayin?
Stranger: Fucking
Stranger: pecan pie.
You: Like wtf is that question about, man, I want pie
You: I want some of that key lime pie
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Question to discuss:
whats the benefit of large tits?
You: none
You: you get to beg for more back massages
Stranger: you have more weight to throw into punches...?
You: "i got these huge tits, my back hurts, rub my shoulders"
You: You can...maybe stop a speeding scooter
Stranger: you can slap people unconscious with you gigantic boobs
You: You can not fall off some small planets
You: You can float better!
You: You can cook the fat outta them and have nice titty gravy
You: titty gravy on some roast pussy sounds good
Stranger: Pillows for two
You: I'd even eat some ass
You: A place to set drinks.
You: You can hide candy in your boobs and pull it out at random occasions
Stranger: they're called funbags for a reason
Stranger: SO MANY USES!
Stranger: BILLY MAYS HERE!
Stranger: XD
You: You can remove the boob tissue and replace it with cocaine and smuggle shit into the country
You: WITH THESE AWESOME BOOBS YOU CAN DO SO MANY THINGS
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now watching two strangers discuss your question!
Question to discuss:
What is your opinion on string theory?

Stranger 2: ????

Stranger 1: eeh

Stranger 1: first read it

Stranger 2: show cock picture

Stranger 1: I think the string theory adds nothing to what we currently use

Stranger 2 has disconnected

Question to discuss:
If no one ever knew, would you have sex or do stuff with the same gender?

You: Nah.

Stranger: nah

Stranger: dont really see the appeal

You: also, that question implies rape

You: for no one to know

Stranger: ?

Stranger: no it doesn't

You: you'd have to rape someone in their sleep

Stranger: its a hypothetical

You: I know

Stranger: i think magic is implied

You: but if you take it literally, doing so would require raping someone in their sleep, while you are asleep as well

You: for no one to know means that no one, not even you, could know

You: I am sorry spy. I do not know if I rape people in my sleep.

You: although I genuinely doubt it

You have disconnected.
or switch to text or video

Nobody my age watched Monty Python :c
You're now watching two strangers discuss your question!
Question to discuss:
"And now for something completely different." What is this a reference to?

Stranger 2: a show

Stranger 1: one direction.... for me, everything is a reference to one direction

Stranger 2: boo

Stranger 1: oh.

Stranger 2: oh.

Stranger 1: okay

Stranger 2: okay

Stranger 1: water you doing

Stranger 2: talking to you. you?

Stranger 1: talking you you

Stranger 1: gosh, we're like twn

Stranger 1: twins*

You have disconnected.



You're now watching two strangers discuss your question!
Question to discuss:
"And now for something completely different." What is this a reference to?

Stranger 2: gfyvhbnjkm/;|

Stranger 1 has disconnected



You're now watching two strangers discuss your question!
Question to discuss:
"And now for something completely different." What is this a reference to?

Stranger 1: oh...

Stranger 1: sounds familiar

Stranger 1: TV Tropes

Stranger 2: i dont know

Stranger 1 has disconnected


Closest I've gotten so far.

You're now watching two strangers discuss your question!
Question to discuss:
"And now for something completely different." What is this a reference to?

Stranger 2: my anus

Stranger 1: Exactly

Stranger 2: :)

You have disconnected.

You're now watching two strangers discuss your question!
Question to discuss:
"And now for something completely different." What is this a reference to?

Stranger 2: A show

Stranger 1: Oh fuck

Stranger 1: I don't remember

Stranger 2: Too bad they can't give us the answer

Stranger 1: Monty Python!

Stranger 2: Woah.

Stranger 1: I knew I remembered

Stranger 2: Not my type of thing.

Stranger 1: It's not for everybody

Stranger 1 has disconnected

I JUST CAME.

Question to discuss:
What is your opinion on paraphernalia?

Stranger 1: i just got charged with it..

Stranger 2 has disconnected

Question to discuss:
kar can you evven handle these wwonderful duck hips of mine
You: I'd like to keep Britain tidy.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Question to discuss:
Most obscure band you know
You: The Beatles
Stranger: :3
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Question to discuss:
what is one thing that you can say about yourself that would cause the majority of people to dislike you?
You: No actually, we're just good friends.
You have disconnected.

Question to discuss:
i hate fat women that think i should respect them
You: me too
Stranger: no shit?!?! me too
You: one time this fat bitch came up to me so i ran her over with my car
You: i wasn't even IN MY CAR
You: so idk what the fuck happened
Stranger: OMFG U SUCH A LIE
You: no man its totally true
Stranger: butttttttttttt LMFAO
You have disconnected.

Question to discuss:
if you saw two lesbians making out what would you do
Stranger: FUCK OFF FROM HERE
You: I would rape both of them
Stranger: fuuuu
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Question to discuss:
Who is best pony? :D
You: String Theory
You have disconnected.

Question to discuss:
Dean, I don't understand this muggle internet. What does it mean "Enter a question"?
Stranger: HAHAHHA
You: INCOMING HP HANFICTION
Stranger: i love you questioner
You: FUCK
You: WHAT DO
You: UM
You: ESCAPE ESCAPE
You have disconnected.

Question to discuss:
Would you date a fourteen year old girl
You: if it was 2004 sure
You have disconnected.

Question to discuss:
Do you smell
You: I smell roses
You: and dandelions
Stranger: i smell sushi
You: here have this formaldehyde
You have disconnected.

Question to discuss:
Stupid yank in afghanistan, killing all those children, man americans sure are fucktards huh
You: #KONY2012
You: wait shit wrogn website
You have disconnected.

Question to discuss:
Awkward question.
You: Awkward answer?
Stranger: kid a or ok computer
You: i think aphex twin is better though
Stranger: so hip
You: ster
You have disconnected.

Question to discuss:
AMERICA! AMERICA! AMERICA! AMERICA! AMERICA! AMERICA! AMERICA!
You: the spy is actually from canada!
Stranger: ?
You: the spy is the guy asking the question
You: stupid
You have disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
WHAT IS AIR?

You: It is a combination of multiple different gasses

Stranger: That come from Ron Jeremy's mustache

You: yes

You: The gas is produced in, and pours out of Ron Jeremy's mustache

You: where it is then transferred through the digestive tracts of multiple different prostitutes

You: in a great long human centipede

You: it is breathed out of the last prostitute, and into the world

Stranger: You got a laugh out of me :p

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
Hey boys it's Barbie here! I want to tell you all to shoot for the stars and to fulfill all your dreams(; xoxo~ Barbie

Stranger: ……………………………………………………………………………………………………...__,,,---~''¯'\,
……………………_,,,----,…………………………………………………………………___,,,---~~''¯¯ . . . . . . ,/'
…………….._,-~'¯ ; ; ; ; ;'\,----,……………………………………………………….,~'' . . . . . . . . . . __,-~~'¯
………,_,-~'¯; ; ; ; ;,-'¯¯¯'' '¯~'\,|,……………………………………………….._,-~' . . . . . . . ._,--~'''¯¯
…… '¯¯; ; ; ; ; ;_. ,/' . . .¯'o~- '|…………………………………………_,-~-~'¯ . , . . . . ¯¯\, . . '\,
……¯¯,-~*_ . /' . '\| . . . . . . . .'\…………………………………_,-~*'¯,/',/' . . . . .¯¯¯'~----,,,\,,,, .'\,
………..¯¯--, .'\, . . . . . . ,--~-,' '|…………………………_,-~*'¯ ; ;;;;; | .| . . . . . . . . . . . : . .|¯'*| .|
…………….."\,-'¯''|, . . .,/' ¯¯'-/'/………………….._,-~'¯¯; ; ;;;;;;;;;;;; '| .'| . . . . . . . . . .___,,--~'~''|
……………….| . . '\, . . '\,; ; ;|/'.__,-~~--,_,/'¯¯'~'¯; ; ;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; '|,'\, ---,_,,---~'''¯\\''~''''¯¯,--~/''
………………/'____ '''`~-,,,--~'''¯¯ ; ; ; ; ; /' ; ;;;;; ; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'\, .'~-,,-~''~---~''''~---~~'''¯
…………….,/'¯'\, . .¯¯,~';;;;;;; ; ;/' ; ; ; ; ; ;;;;;/ ; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'~,--~''¯¯';,/'
…………..,/',--,-~',_,~'' ;/';;;;;;;;;/';; ; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'~-,_,/'/'
……….,,~'| /' /' . ,~'~-,;;;;;;;;;;;;|;; ;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ; ;,__,,,,,,-----~~'''¯
……,~'' ,/'/'/ : | .,/';;;,~';;;;;;;;;;;;'\,;;;;;; ; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;_,-~''¯¯
….,/' ;,/;;;|' : ,/';;-~' ¯¯¯ ;;;;;;;;;;''\, ; ; ;;;;;;; ;_,,,---~~'''¯¯
…,|;;;;'|;;;| :,/';;,~' |;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ; '\;;;;; ; ;;,/'
…|';;;;;'|;;| /',~';;;;|';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;''~-~''¯/
..,|;|;;;;;\;||/';;;;;;;|';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;/'
,/'|;'|;;;;;;,|';;;;;;;;|';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ; ;,/'
.;;;|;|;;;;,|';;;;;;;;;;|';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ; ; ; ;,/'OBJECTION! THAT IS NOT A QUESTION!
.;;;|;|;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,/'
.;;|';|;;;;|';;;;;;;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ; ; ; ; ; ;|'
.;;| |;;;;'|;;;;;;;;;;;'|;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ; ; ; ; ; |'
.;;| |;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ; ; ; ; ; ; |
.; | |;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;;; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; |
/''| |;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;;; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; '|
..| |;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;'\,

You: lmfao

Your conversational partner has disconnected.


EDIT: Oh god, what happened to you, Phoenix Wright? It looks half as accurate as it did in Omegle

phoenix wright had a phpectomy

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
Age,sex,location,name,number (;
Stranger: aight
Stranger: aight
Stranger: i can do this
Stranger: 20
Stranger: m
Stranger: california
Stranger: 3109181894
Stranger: call me now
Stranger: do it
Stranger: my phone is in my hand question dude
You: 43,M,Behind you,Rapist,RAPE
Stranger: RAPE!
You: ;)
Stranger: stranger danger!
Stranger: oo a phone call
Stranger: he says hi
Stranger: wanna ask him a question?
You: Tell him "Hi I'm going to rape you"
Stranger: ok
Stranger: he says i already read it
Stranger: you dont need to tell me
Stranger: douche
You: Double rape all the way
You: Across the sky
Stranger: no wayyyyy
Stranger: double rape
Stranger: its almost triple rape!
You: Double complete rapebow?
Stranger: he says asl
Stranger: the rapiest bows i aint never seens
You: 7/F/Fuck you pedo
Stranger: he says you cant be 7
Stranger: he hung up :C
Stranger: i think he left
Stranger: :(((
Stranger: not cool
Stranger: no bueno
Stranger: so whats up stranger
Stranger: you disconnecting or do you want to call me also
You: He's an ass, also I gotta go. Bye stranger!
You: Also
You: RAPE!
Stranger: RAPE!
Stranger: :D
Stranger: Have a good night!
Stranger: Night meeting you
Stranger: :)
Stranger: i mean
Stranger: nice
Stranger: hah
Stranger: :o
Stranger: honk
Stranger: its late i have a class tomorrow
You: Nice meeting you too HONK honk HONK
Stranger: :(
Stranger: physics hang overs!
Stranger: HONK HONK!
Stranger: :P
Stranger: hey stranger
Stranger: whats your name
Stranger: :)
Stranger: I'm Mark
You: Oops gotta dash
You have disconnected.

Wat

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Hey

Stranger: hi stranger

You: How bout dem ni.ggers?

Stranger: fuck em is what i always say

You: Yeh

You: That Obama kid is a hoodlum

Stranger: he is riffraff

You: crazy ass negr.o thinkin' he can be the CEO of america

Stranger: the klan has lost their balls

You: agreed

Stranger: i thought he wouldnt make it 6 months

Stranger: buut nooooo

Stranger: no dedicated racists left in this country

You: Yeah, I've been waitin' for that darky to get assassinated at the beginning of his first term

You: Yeah, really. The kids of today really don't know how to lynch properly.

Stranger: its a shame. but hey, what can you do?

You: Yeah. I just keep my shotgun polished and loaded for when the day may come...

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Talk to strangers!
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26,372 strangers online

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: hi

Stranger: Hi, INDIAN BOY HERE

You: MY DICK IS ON FIRE
THE FRICTION OF RUBBING MY HAND BACK AND FORTH HAS SET IT ALIGHT

You: I'M PRODUCING ENOUGH HEAT TO PUT OUT THE FIRE IN MY WOOD STOVE AND HEAT THE WHOLE HOUSE

You: DEAR GOD, IT BURNS LIKE A THOUSAND SUNS

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Talk to strangers!
Select Language​▼
26,468 strangers online

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hey

You: MY URINE IS ON FIRE

Stranger: good for you

You: I KNOW

Stranger: ahaha

You: I PISS FIRE

You: I AM GOD

Stranger: i worship you then

You: DRINK MY FLAMING LIQUIDS OF DOOM

You: FOR THEY MARK MY LOVE FOR YOU, CHILD

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hia:)

You: MY SEMEN IS HYDROCHLORIC ACID\

Stranger: O no i shldnt hav ate tht :p

Stranger: lol

You: IT HAS COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF HIV

Stranger: dammit

You: HEY, MY SEMEN IS PART OF THIS BALANCED BREAKFAST

Stranger: In my cherios bitch;)

Stranger: m or f

You: IF YOU MULTIPLY YOUR LEVELS OF HIV BY (1/HIV) YOU WILL NO LONGER HAVE HIV

Stranger: haha i didnt hav hiv to begin wit so wah

You: CHERIOS ARE DELICIOUS

You: I EAT THEM WITH MY OWN SEMEN EVERY DAY

You: WHO NEEDS MILK WHEN YOU HAVE HYDROCHLORIC ACID?

Stranger: M or f jw :)

You: I AM BOTH

Stranger: o otay

You: MALE, FEMALE, AND ASEXUAL

Stranger: WHOA UR LIKE A WORm

You: I REPRODUCE THROUGH MITOSIS

Stranger: WORM*

Stranger: PLANT CELL

You: LET ME TAKE A RIDE ON YOUR DISCO STICK

Stranger: YESSS!

You: DISCOCOURSE

Stranger: YES!

You: THE USE OF A DISCO BALL IN INTERCOURSE

You: INSERT INTO A. VAGINA OR B. ANUS

Stranger: O YEA

You: FUCKING HOT RIGHT?

Stranger: O YES

You: JUST LIKE HYDROCHLORIC ACID POURING OUT OF MY PENIS

Stranger: HAH URA GUY:p LOL

Stranger: r u a drag queen?!?!?

Stranger: be mi friend

You: YES

You: I DRAG MY DICK ALL OVER TOWN

You: IT IS TOO BIG TO FIT INTO ANY FORM OF LOWER BODY ATTIRE

Stranger: O BABY ! NAME?

You: MY NAME IS FLORENCE

Stranger: NICKI

You: NICE TO MEAT YOU NICKI, WOULD YOU LIKE SOME HYDROCHLORIC ACID AS A SOUVENIR?

You: I'D PUT IT IN A BAG, BUT, YOU KNOW.

Stranger: YES

You: IT WOULD MELT THROUGH.'

Stranger: HAHA u made my day btw

Stranger: :)

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Talk to strangers!
Select Language​▼
25,290 strangers online

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: Hello

You: INTERCOURSE

Stranger: Sex

You: CAN BABIES DO IT?

Stranger: Yes

Stranger: You've never watched baby porn?

You: TONIGHT, ON DATELINE NBC WE TALK WITH THE EXPERTS ON THIS SUBJECT MATTER: PEDOPHILES

Stranger: Umm.... You got me

You: TAKE A SEAT, PROTESTANT

Stranger: Thank you sir

Stranger: You got any small children?

You: OH YES, WE KEEP THIRTY ON HAND AT ALL TIMES, BUT THERE'S ANOTHER 50 IN A WOODEN CRATE IN THE WAREHOUSE

Stranger: O thank goodness those little fuckers start crying after like 2 seconds of anal so you need a lot of them

You: I KNOW

Stranger: That's fucked up I'm sorry...

You: IT'S A HUGE PROBLEM FOR THE STAFF HERE

You: THE CAMERAMAN GOES THROUGH AT LEAST 13 A DAY

Stranger: Whore

You: I KNOW

You: HE HAS A PROBLEM

You: I ONLY NEED 9 A DAY

Stranger: I'm down to 10

Stranger: It used to be 17

You: I HAD THAT PROBLEM WHEN I WAS A TEENAGER

You: SOME DAYS I WOULD ACTUALLY GO THROUGH 23 IN ONE DAY

You: 23 FUCKING BABIES

Stranger: Yeah I gotta go... Freak!

You: DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY HOSPITALS I HAD TO ROB TO GET THOSE

You: GOODBYE, MY LOVE

Stranger: O my

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: STRANGER DANGER

You have disconnected.

Oh god D:

I wish this didn't stop being a thing.

I might eventually make one of these after the post war.

AJfriss wrote:I wish this didn't stop being a thing.

I might eventually make one of these after the post war.

I still do it every once in a while.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: hi

Stranger: hiii

You: high

Stranger: how is ur night going

You: bad

Stranger: thats not good

You: correct

You: it is the opposite of good

Stranger: definitely

You: my little sister raped me

Stranger: ohh wow

You: i tried to stop her by shoving poop in her mouth

You: but

You: she was too strong

Stranger: that didn't work then

You: she bit my penis off

Stranger: must be a strong one

You: she is a bodybuilder

You: 7 years old

Stranger: ohh and then just spit it out as a big insult

You: what?

Stranger: spit that penis out as a big insult

You: she swallowed

Stranger: ohh better that way tho....doesn't give you such a lowly feeling

You: I'm losing a lot of blood

You: ican see the foam of sky balls

Stranger: tie a shoe string around the stub and it should quit bleeding

You: monkey unicorns

You: rainbows and lolipops

Stranger: cracker crumbs will dry up any oozing blood too

You: good idea

Stranger: ohh its amazing

You: then I can eat that

Stranger: yeah and don't be driving on the left had side of the road

You: oh, I thought everyone else was on the wrong side

You: I guess not

Stranger: no now that will get u severely hurt or killed

You: I have caused 16 accidents

Stranger: and don't stay in holiday inns they are so cruddy

You: oh, that's my fault

You: I masterbate all over the walls

Stranger: don't ever eat a banana or apple left handed either

You: why not?

You: is that the gay hand?

Stranger: can cause massive internal bleeding

You: oh, I see

Stranger: never masturbate left handed....its just not right

You: yeah

You: that just feels wrong

Stranger: and for gosh sakes don't pee with a condom on

You: Oh

You: I thought that's what they were for

You: pisscollection

Stranger: some believe that but it makes such a mess

You: shit

You: I got blood all over my white keyboard

You: it's red now

Stranger: don't eat any choc easter rabbits i heard they are full of poison....my god what are things coming too

You: damn, I thought arsenic was good for you

Stranger: well just few drops never hurts anything u know

Stranger: ohh and its great if you have worms too

You: when I read: excellent source of potassium cyanide, I thought that was a good thing

Stranger: and don't forget to unplug ur christmas tree lights tonight too

You: it says that on all of my cereal boxes

Stranger: gee 6 houses have burned down in my neighborhood because of them overheating....such a loss

You: dang

Stranger: what is this world coming to anyway and they want us to believe in the global warming garbage....isn't that crazy

You: everyone around where I live seems to be having a gas leak explosion problem

You: yeah, that global warming crap

You: we should cut down all of the trees

You: that would help, right?

Stranger: yes it get so disgusting hearing them harp about it all the time

You: I have a good idea

You: to prove it wrong

You: cut down rainforests with H-bombs

Stranger: need to burn more soft coal it has much better pollution qualities

You: and if global warming doesn't happen after that, it's fake

Stranger: ur absolutely right....such garbage they have been spreading around about that

You: there is nothing wrong with nuclear war

You: we should start WWIII for the lulz

Stranger: and to beat all i hear johnny carson was coming back on the tonight show again

You: Oh, god

You: duck and cover

You: did you know

You: If you are 100 ft away from a thermonuclear detonation

Stranger: yes i tell you all of this stuff going on is just wearing me out

You: you can protect yourself with 50 spf sunscreen

Stranger: lord i'll have to get out and get some of that first thing

You: yeah

You: It totally works too

You: I read that on the internet

Stranger: and can u believe now they are wanting us to put dirty oil into our vehicles for an oil change

You: yeah

You: geez

You: oil that contains oil

Stranger: this world is getting into a real mess

You: yeah, we should protest contraception

You: so that world hunger will become a problem

Stranger: ohh definately yes

You: and give everyone AIDS

You: to help aiding the cause

Stranger: ohh hey call in and tell ur views....this is amazing

You: we should Nuke Africa

You: because they're all black

You: but

You: I heard blacks are immune to nukes

You: damn

Stranger: gosh yess i don't know what its taken so long for people to see thru that

You: and females? geez, I say kill them all. problem solved

Stranger: that would iradicate a lot of the divorce problems

You: Exactly

You: we have so much in common

You: we should run for president

Stranger: something so darn simple and no one can see it

You: of the US

You: we are even better than the republican candidates

You: those guys are geniuses

Stranger: yes we should but they have messed up the job so much its such a headache now

You: we should kill all of the gay babies

You: you can tell by looking at a baby

You: whether it is a gay one

You: or not

Stranger: yes another thing so simple people can't grasp onto it

You: honestly

You: why can't people see these obvious solutions

You: to these problems

Stranger: this whole world is just in such a decline

You: it is literally going downward in space

You: relative to some thing

Stranger: yes its just spiraling away from us

You: the moon will get a divorce with earth

You: tired of living with a planet with nasty green shit growing all over it

You: that's why we must kill the trees

Stranger:
and can u imagine the disgust of them want to sell us toilet paper with
no cardboard roller in it....imagine all of the collapsing rolls

You: my gosh

You: well, I must be off to the hospital

Stranger: ohhh yes u need to that attended too

You: hail satan!

Stranger: Hail satan!


You have disconnected.

walkinator wrote:
You: hail satan!

Stranger: Hail satan!


You have disconnected.

That was fucking perfect.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: HELLO.

Stranger: hi

Stranger: asl

Stranger: hey

You: PROCESSING "asl"...

You: DID YOU MEAN ALS?

Stranger: age sex location

You: PROCESSING "age sex location"...

Stranger: hey

You: I AM CTHULU.

You: INTERCOURSE IS RELEVANT.

Stranger: u made computer

You: I AM LOCATED IN THE LEFT RECTUM OF THOR.

You: PLEASE TYPE NEXT COMMAND.

Stranger: wow

Stranger: u gay??

You: PROCESSING "u gay"...

You: ROBOTS HAVE NO SEXUAL ORIENTATION.

You: PLEASE TYPE NEXT COMMAND.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.