The Hoefather.

Tateos wrote:Hnnnnnnnnnnng
Update later today.

callback

JoN [Hectic] wrote:Okay, I'll be back in this thread in March

JoN [Hectic] wrote:

Tateos wrote:Hnnnnnnnnnnng
Update later today.

callback

JoN [Hectic] wrote:Okay, I'll be back in this thread in March

i'm srs though

it's been a year and a half this better be good

JoN [Hectic] wrote:it's been a year and a half this better be good

It hasn't been a year in a half since the last picture update, and it's only been a few months since the last update :/

The flash is still in the "This Will Probably Never Be Made" phase.

Tateos wrote:

JoN [Hectic] wrote:it's been a year and a half this better be good

It hasn't been a year in a half since the last picture update, and it's only been a few months since the last update :/

The flash is still in the "This Will Probably Never Be Made" phase.

Actually, I might do this on Thursday; it'll give me something to do on the 6 hour plane ride to Seattle.

Fuck that, updating now.
UPDAET:

"What's happening to me?" you shout in enraged confusion, as your body becomes a dark mass.
"Hahahaha. I have censored you."
"That's not funny, old man! What did you do?!"
"I have moved your body image on to Australian internet. It will never fully load again."
"You... You monster!"
"You cannot abuse your beautiful bronze hair ever again."
"I feel... I feel a power welling up inside me. Something ancient..."
"What are you babbling about, boy?"

"Your voice... It changed! What is this trickery?!"



[Villain reveal brought to you by Photoshop!]

END OF CHAPTER 1

BEGINNING
CHAPTER 2: HOPEFULLY THIS ONE WILL NOT BEGIN TO BE LAME AND SMELL OF MOLDY CHEESE
Do not take chapter two if you are also taking inhalants. If you begin to implode, take video of it, I want to see.

You awake, to, well... You don't awake. You are a corpse, you think.
You appear to have been impaled on a stop sign, which seems slightly poetic in a way. Nearby you is what seems to be a rather fortitudinous cane, and you begin to feel rather... slick.

You think that there is some major pimping to do.
Your eyes regain sight, and you climb off of the stop sign.

Author's Note:

I've been sketching Hoefather stuff all day, this is going to happen.

Check yourself for signs of zombie-ism

Tateos wrote:I've been sketching Hoefather stuff all day, this is going to happen.

sometime between today and the release of half life 3

Hectic Jon wrote:

Tateos wrote:I've been sketching Hoefather stuff all day, this is going to happen.

sometime between today and the release of half life 3

no really, it is.
I've found I like drawing things by hand much, much more than via the computer, so (probably) all updates following will be hand drawn.
the flash is coming out sometime after half life 3, though

by the way sir, I already have the update drawn out, I'm just trying to figure out how I want to get it into my comp-whether or not I scan it or take a picture and then upload that.
Unfortunately I only have a small window of time to do this; my limited internet also blocks image sharing sites. The only time I have to do stuff like this is from 8:30-10:00.

I'm not entirely sure why HO isn't blocked, but I'm glad it's not.

SirPwnington wrote:Check yourself for signs of zombie-ism

You appear to be fine, and you now remember that your name is Steven Slick.
Well, fine other than the massive stop-sign shaped hole in your chest that almost definitely goes through three different vital organs and at least 2 major arteries.
You begin to PONDER THE MEANING OF LIFE as you question how the fuck you can see without any form of SIGHT BALLS attached to your head.
You're pretty sure The Raven stole your Sight Balls. Damn raven, always pecking out various assorted balls.

Behind you there is a forensics officer flipping his shit because you just got the fuck up and walked away.
Around you is a TAILOR SHOP, a BARBER SHOP, a CHAIN PIZZA RESTAURANT, and A PASTRY SHOP.
You would like to somehow fill, fix, or hide this hole in your chest somehow. It is seriously INFRINGING ON YOUR VIBES. Perhaps one of the shops will help.

Do a pimpin' zombie walk into the tailor shop and get your shirt fixed or something

SirPwnington wrote:Do a pimpin' zombie walk into the tailor shop and get your shirt fixed or something

You slide into the tailor shop, but you are not well received. Despite your fucking massively high pimp and suave levels, the guy can't get past the fact that you have a massive hole in your chest.

Quite frankly, he shat bricks.
Looks like you need to try someplace else. Someplace used to seeing the fucking weirdest shit the world has to offer. Your options are the same-you could try the barber shop, the chain pizza restaurant, or the pastry shop, but you need to fill this hole.

You grab some FUCKING DELECTABLE PANTIES on your way out. You know, just in case.

Fill the hole in your chest with panties then go to the pizza place

SirPwnington wrote:Fill the hole in your chest with panties then go to the pizza place

You fill your chest with these fucking delectable panties, and enter the pizza shop.
Oh. Oh dear god.
Oh my god, look at that employee.


LOOK AT HIM.
JUST... JUST LOOK RIGHT AT THAT MOTHERFUCKER.


He's goddamn sublime, that's what he is... This man is an unsurpassed beauty. PEER INTO THOSE SEXY GRAY EYES.


You take a look at the menu while trying to muster up the courage to speak. You know you should probably order some pizza to fill the hole in your chest, but you might as well look at what else they have to offer.

Order a medium pizza with gun and a side of angst

SirPwnington wrote:Order a medium pizza with gun and a side of angst

Spoiler:

At that, you pass out. He's so goddamn handsome!

You begin to dream.

In your dream demand a goddamn gun pizza then rob the store with the gun from on top of the pizza. DO IT.