Story time

I figured that during the day sometimes we all come home with stories to tell of exciting or strange shit that happened.

This is the place for that.

Random story 1:
Btw, the internet has ruined me. I tried to put this in paragraph form or at least some form of semi-legit sentences mashed together, but I can't.. So, I summon meme arrows.

>be me at work
>busy as hell
>food takes 13 minutes for a nice man
>offer nice man free stuff for his patience
>drunk guy tries to order food
>sees i gave other people free stuff
>wants free stuff
>notgonnahappen.jpg
>drunk guy pays for food anyway
>asks me what I have for free for him
>tell him "nothing"
>drunk guy says "Start"
>me: "what?"
>drunk guy: "start putting free stuff on there for me."
>me: "no."
>drunk guy: "what?"
>me: "no. im not giving you free stuff."
>NEXT!
>drunk guy demands free stuff
>causes scene
>i tell him he has some choices: calm down and accept that he gets nothing free, or i can give him his money and ask him to leave and he'll have accomplished jack escept wasting his time standing around in my lobby
>demands refund
>refund him and tell him I'm glad he's leaving, the amount of beer on his breath was getting me drunk from 3 feet away
>guy walks out
>lobby cheers and comes up and tells me I did the right thing

Dat confidence. Fuck that guy.


Story 2:

>be me at work
>see lady in electric wheel chair looking for a table
>doesn't ask for help
>pushes about 8 chairs and 2 tables into a corner with her wheel chair, knocking half of them over
>resembles a bulldozer knocking down trees
>she feels accomplished
>damaged quite a bit of property
>doesn't seem to notice or care

Story 3:

>be me coming home from work
>see chick walking back and forth in the apartment front yard
>ask her if she's lookin for someone
>she says she's lookin for a man named percocet
>dontknowhim.jpg
>go inside
>type stories
>now its now

So I was standing in a rather large line at my local Wal-Mart today behind a couple families that I know from when I went to church with my family in year younger. It was the only register open so there wasn't much of another option to get my 12 pack of Mountain Dew for a party I was heading to. I was wondering why the line was going nowhere when I decided to poke my head up front to see what the holdup was. It was a little old lady who didn't have enough for her groceries and she was trying to talk the cashier into letting her get away with being short. This struck me as odd until I found out she was a mere $0.21 short of her purchase. Now all these families were just staring and there was even two making fun of her. I walked up and handed my soda to the cashier, handed him a $5 and told her to keep the change. One of the middle aged women (I knew these people, so I also knew that they all make over 6 digits) grabbed her kid and yelled very loudly, "See that man? He's acting just like Jesus wants us to." For some reason this set me off, so I turned around. I haven't shaved in awhile so I'm rocking some nice scruff, a Slayer shirt, and gym shorts, so it must have been a nice sight. Very loudly, I said "Like Jesus? Ma'am I'm an atheist who makes minimum wage and I was the one who stepped up to help her? Your hypocritical Christianity is an inspiration to us all." As I stormed out, a couple of the cart boys started to whistle and cheer, soon shoppers joined in and even the cashier. I gave a wave and went off with a feeling of accomplishment.

Go aktve!

I loved your story, man! I mean, I didn't love that those rich snooty bastards couldn't help with that 21 cents, but I loved that you could.

Us 99% needa look after each other... 21 cents aint shit, I mean it kinda is..but still...lets just give the old lady a quarter and move on with life. No prob. Rich snooty bastards...

You are an inspiration homie :)

Both of you have such inspiring stories omg I feel so lame now. Good job with being awesome people tho.

My stories weren't really inspiring. In all 3 stories I'm like "fuck that guy." rofl

Your first story was great, all up and telling them drunk people off. And also you were still offering to help that lady in the third one. U r da bomb Rahvman.

>be me
>get off work late last night
>clean house til 6am
>slept til 9am
>bank inspector
>waiting for him to actually finish
>now
>mfw im exhausted
>mfw too exhausted to post pix

>walk 1.88 miles to work
>walk .93 miles to friends house after work
>walk 2.64 miles to beer store
>walk .8 miles home
>mapquest all of this and get drunk
>haven't started the drinking
>slacking
>drinking

I traveled on foot over 6 miles today, nearly 4 and a half of it was after work.. However, pandora kept me pretty occupied. My calves feel just fine, as if nothing happened...but my feet are like "fuck you cool guy cool guy cool guy fucking cool guy"

I dunno if the filter is even on anymore, I never test it. Cuz I'm a cool guy.

In that journey a hobo walked at me with his arms out like he wanted to hug me. So...me being the guy I am... I hugged him back. He said he was named Edward, asked my name, told me it was good to see me, and we went our separate ways.

I feel so dirty.

dragnluvr1985 wrote:>mapquest

people still use that?

hiddeninthecrowd wrote:

dragnluvr1985 wrote:>mapquest

people still use that?

I use mapquest for figuring out how many miles it takes from walk somewhere.. they give it down to the hundredth of a mile :)

Tbh it was the first time I'd used mapquest in years... normally we use a GPS of sorts if we really need to get somewhere.

Today I was at work. Cool story bro.

Anyway, I had a long day and was tired by the end...and one of my asian coworkers asked me to buzz him into the restrooms, so I let him in and he came out like 10 seconds later screaming at the top of his lungs and laughing... I ran over and I was like "vu, stop screaming for a second and use you words to explain what you're trying to say!"

So vu said: "i think uh someone hate taco bell cuz shit everywhere on everything!"

and I was like "whaaa?"
and he was like "Shit errywhere bro! mucho shit on walls on floor on toilet on sink shit everywhere!"

So I walked in and damn right, there was shit everywhere. On the floor. on the walls...on the door. There was so much poop... :(

BUT THATS NOT MY PROBLEM!

:)

I was about to punch out when he told me about it, so what I did was punch out and not tell anyone about it and go home. As I was walking out vu was like "u clean bathroom bro?" and i was like "fuck no vu, thats not my problem. they dont pay me enough to care about that shit, im going home."

So did I have a long tiring day? yes....but I could have had a day where I had to clean up that shit and that would have made me sad. In comparison to how my day COULD have gone it went swimmingly!

I was given warning of the poop...but the next person to discover it wont be given any warning and they'll run out screaming at the top of their lungs and that somehow makes me happy.

this basically has no point and I am only typing it because I am bored no h8 plz

>be me
>mom's boyfriend's mother and son visiting
>want me to hang out with them on Saturday
>nah
>get out of car and walk around town center by myself
>decide to walk into Wegmans because it was HOT AS HOLY HELL OUTSIDE
>heat messed with hair, trying to fix it
>few people looking, don't care
>grab lollipop
>drop lollipop
>few people looking, don't care
>pick up stuffed lion, planning on buying it
>feeling p. good
>try to walk normally
>don't walk normally
>few people looking, don't care
>one guy in particular 
>older than me
>got a weird look on his face watching me
>kinda care
>he begins to approach
>begins trying to make small talk
>awkwardly reply and casually (not casually) put back lion and leave
>no longer feeling good
>few people looking
>care