What time is it?!

This has everything and nothing to do with the show.

Last night when I was falling asleep I had an idea: Why is it Finn the Human gets to have all the best adventures? I'M RAHV THE VAMPIRE!

So, I wrote this all on a piece of graph paper as a message from drunk me to sober me and left it on my night stand so I'd see it when I woke up. So here goes the:
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[ADVENTURE PLAN]
1) Get to the max, or nearby bus stop.

Spoiler:

2) Decide where to go, be crazy, follow yellow or something
3) Go there, continue to follow what feels right

Spoiler:

4) Don't get stranded!!

Spoiler:

Prerequisites:
Charge phone
Shower while phone is charging

Optional quests:
Hit up a landmark of some kind
Don't give any money to strangers
For that matter, dont talk to any strangers (lol good luck)

Bonus points:
Take pictures.
Don't get raped.
TAKE MORE PICTURES.
Document Errythang.
Hunt for artifacts.

SUPER CRAY JOURNEY
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TBH I don't even know if I'm going to go left or right when I hit my sidewalk yet. This is intense. If ya'll weren't minors I'd suggest you have and adventure like me :) But I'd rather see you on HO and not on the missing kids board at walmart..

And there ya have it folks. Rahvin's gonna go out into the city all on his own today and try not to get raped or harassed by crazy hobos.

I'll be back with an adventure for you though. OP WILL SURELY DELIVAR.
As a side quest to you to keep you busy..watch this chocolate milk for me, make sure nothing happens to it.

i will ban anyone who spills the chocolate milk

Spoiler alert, I'm on my adventure. And I'm alive. And no rape yet. Won't wanna ruin the story tho so that's all for now :)

Holy shit, we should make the H-O song based on your wacky adventure through the city. :O

Alright, OP encountered some tired feels from all of the adventuring and that the story would be better written tomorrow. Pictures and tastes and smells guaranteed.

At least I have warm chocolate milk to drink


Shucks.
*banned*

Alright, well now that I'm unbanned I can tell this story!

I woke up at 3pm. I plugged my phone in and went to the bathroom.. I sat down on the toilet seat and it was cold against my bare bum. I dropped a deuce until 3:09 while smoking a cigarette. When the cigarette was done I shoved it down into the cat box that sits next to the toilet. I showered, checked my phone and it was only a quarter full, so I decided to play some transformice. I walked out into the messy living room, getting random stuff stuck to the bottom of my feet which is normal.. I cheez'd it up until 4:30ish when I started collecting everything I would need for the epic adventure: Got my headphones, wallet with 80 dollars cuz baller, backpack with towel. You should always bring a towel on an adventure.

5:12 I'm finally geared up for everything that can come my way and my phone is charged. So I leave my house, lock the door, and step out into my front yard. The sky is a bright blue, I can smell the grass that's been mowed recently. There are whispy white clouds up in the stratosphere, sirrus clouds I believe. They mean a change in weather is coming, but I thought nothing of that because of the distractingly beautiful blue sky and bright warm sunshine.



I walk passed kids playing with a small inflatable ball, one of them is wearing a yellow shirt and I know from my adventure rules that following yellow is good. I'm on the right path. I walk through the small parking lot with our cars in it and get to the sidewalk... I look right, and see nothing great, so I look left and..



.. a perfect line of bright yellow dandelions are pulling me in their direction and I can't resist the elation I feel as the first few steps of my adventure were happening. THIS IS HAPPENING. I pass by a dumpster that smells bad, it smells like rotting cabbage and old beer and pee. There is some graffiti on there that I don't recognize and I log that information away for research at a later date. I can also smell tar that has collected on the telephone poles, collecting in sticky black resin around the bottoms of the old split wooden erections.

I see a pole that has held its fair share of signs and I feel bad for it, for what has been done to its integrity. This pole used to be alive, it used to be a tree and its limbs swayed in the wind and it did no harm. It even let a families of birds, squirrels, and bugs live on it without complaint. One day though, a man with a noisey tool began killing all of his friends and families, and all of their birds and squirrels and bugs and snakes had to find other places to live or die.

After watching his family and friends die, it was his turn, or her turn, or its turn.. its branches shook in the wind for one last breath of CO2 and as the last of its oxygen escaped its browning leaves it knew that was not fair, but that it's creator would keep it safe through the quickly coming darkness.

It's body was shipped to a factory where they cut its arms off, stripped it of all its skin, and left it as a naked pole to be sent back out into the world. They replanted it, screwed metal devices to it, and draped electronic arms on it. Its limbs would sway in the wind once more, and the squirrels found it from the forest and climbed on it once again, and the birds and the bugs climbed on it in the mornings and nights. It didn't feel natural, and it had no breath left to give, but it was worth all of the nails and screws to be at home with its friends once again...its fluids slowly dripping out of the base of what was once a mighty tree, only to become sap on the pavement.

I give to you, this tree. Stapled together at the seams, rusted nails boring infection and death and decay into our old friend. But, you know. He's happy. It's not about him in this world, its about what he can do. The giving tree.




After passing this desecrated corpse of a mighty creation that lived a hundred years and a hundred more, I found the corner store... and I bought a Gatorade.

The time is 5:20pm when I leave the store, kicking gravel as my shoes scuffed across the ground. The sun was warm on my face now, I could feel it burning my ginger flesh. I waited my turn at the intersection despite the lack of traffic, eventually I was given the green walk sign so I pimpstrolled across the street with my Gatorade bottle in one hand, my open backpack in my other, nearly dropping everything and dodging the traffic that has accumulated that obv didn't know how traffic worked.

I safely make it to the bus stop at 5:22 and it turns out I have a 7 minute wait. So, I hunt for artifacts. I found nothing close to an artifact, so I decide to take a picture of me.




I'm also sportin an Adventure Time shirt but it can't be seen in this picture. At this time though, I remembered to take more pictures, so I went and took this picture:



It looks like someone, in a bright color, painted "HOPE" and wished me hope on my adventure that it would be good. And that's all we have for part 1. Part 2 coming, but you gotta wait for the bus with me. It's a wait. 7 minutes was how long I had to wait... I think ya'll be waitin a lil bit more ;)

[PART 2]
I stood there awkwardly next to a middle-age mexican lady, you can see her legs in the dandelion photo, until the bus came. I watched the beast of a bus creak around the corner and it pulled up smelling like exhaust and vomit. The door opened and I let the old mexican lady go first cuz gentleman, I then get on the bus and pay him 5 dollars so I can get a bus pass for the day.

I then pass by 6-7 freaks and take my favorite spot in the back left corner of the bus, but once I sit down I realize I've turned around to sit down and am now on the right side of the bus. Sittin starboard right now and I'm trying to save all of my phone battery for documentations of facts and pix, but I risk a picture so you guys can sit on the bus with me. The wind is blowing through my hair, and it smells like fresh hair that the trees of our city provide for us, mixed with a bit of vomit and exhaust. Sit with me, my friends.



While I was on the bus I kept seeing people get on and get off, as things do when you're riding a city bus. At one point we were passing a school with light-colored brickwork, and I saw a guy waiting with his friends when he saw the bus coming. He looked like level and tat's lovechild, only..not me. He danced away waving like a crazy fool and I thought it was funny, so I made note of it. He had on khakis and a stripey shirt and glasses with a kinda shorter haircut, it went to the top of his glasses.

We passed another group of teens about 15-17 and it reminded me why we're even doing this. We. Hm. Anyway, we're doing this for the adventure! Because we have friends out there not having adventures so this is our time to shine!

I'll note that at this point I don't know where I am. I've never ridden this bus so far, and I have no destination, so I'm not lost...lost implies having a destination and not knowing where it is, this is a whole new experience.





Part of my adventure time shirt :) And more coming!

PART THREE NAO

i can't handle the tension

Ptero wrote:i can't handle the tension

can't say that i have read this yet, but i'm sure the sexual tension between parts two and three is so great that it is immeasurable

Part three will be coming tonight when I get off work.

Off at 10:30, home by 11ish, an hour of survivor later(midniiiight) i'll be ready to compose again. This story is too epic to be told in one day, it drains me just to remember how epic and long this journey was..

I should start writing it at work in mah head.

Tension..hmm...lemme see if I can't wrangle up a spoiler for you.

In part 3 Rahvin breaks his rule about not talking to strangers, and learns something about himself in the process. Also, more artifact hunting.

Rahvin wrote:Part three will be coming tonight when I get off work.

The suspense is killing me!!

Omg finally saw this, you've already encountered an ancient giving tree, a majestic women hailing from the lands of Mexico, strange runes written on walls and a great metal machine that you rode after making an offering of currency. I can't wait for part 3 :o

ps. I will remember to take a towel on any future adventures I have

Part 3 would have been done last night but the site was down for hours...
And sirpwn, you hit the nail on the head, this journey is exciting. And we still have more to go :D

PART 3 NAO PLZ

I pulled a cord to alert the driver that I wished to be let off at the next scheduled stop, and as it hissed to a halt I departed that bus and stepped out into the world because I saw a gas station with a bright yellow sign.

Standing around outside the gas station, however, as a band of hooligans. I felt like the lone wanderer from vault 101 coming across a raider camp for the first time, so I snuck by and avoided the place all together. The temperature is slowly dropping, but I haven't noticed it yet. I decided to hunt for artifacts to pass the time, I found some icky things and recent trash and nothing noteworthy.

I realized that my energy level was depleted, so I considered where I should go to purchase and ingest food. I hopped on the next bus headed back and got off two stops later, to wait for a different bus that would take me to a nice little Vietnamese restaurant called Than Thao. Now I had a destination, a quest to complete in this epic Adventure.

Because of my innate navigational perk I was able to find the restaurant with little confusion. The yellow wooden door was easily opened on its finely oiled hinges, and inside I was greeted by a middle aged lady from the far east. She asked me if I was the only one in my party, to which I confirmed, and she offered me a seat by the wall at a smaller table. There were many other patrons seated around glass-topped tables, masticating their cooked meats and vegetables with exotic sauces flavored with soy and plum.

I requested the Than Thao Favorite Chicken, and was brought a steel pot of freshly brewed, piping hot, Jasmine Tea and a small ceramic tea cup. I took this as a sign that she understood my desired dish and poured myself a cup of the tea. It was far too hot for ingestion, so I transferred ice from my water into my tea so that I could drink it before I died of old age.

Part 3 part 1 is complete. I have to go do other things, like out in the world, like time sensitive stuff. I will add more flavor and pictures when I return, assuming I don't get destroyed in the process. This world is scary.