Confronting a bully

I just confronted a bully like an adult.

This woman was yelling at her kids, calling them fuckers and little shits.. This isn't the first, second, or third time it's happened. This is probably the 10th time I've heard her screaming at them at the top of her lungs with nothing but swearing.. so I hear this screaming going down at 1:45pm and I take off outside because I'm done with it. She's been screaming at these kids for months and months, so finally today I went out and let her know whats up... Well I didn't want to confront her at all tbh, I just stood on my porch and stared at her to let her know I was witnessing what was going down. (I never go outside unless there's a reason, but I left the shovel inside)

Anyway, she yelled down at me "what's he lookin at? i dont even know his fuckin name, yeah stare all you want!" and here we go.. The fight or flight response kicked in, but for some reason I never flight when given the option :(

Instead I walked over and said: "You shouldn't be treating those kids like that." and she's like "What the fuck ever!" and "Its none of your business!" and I'm like "It's my business if I can hear it inside my apartment over the sounds of the washers and my TV. Its my business if it wakes me up." and she's like "Sorrrrrry for waking you up in the middle of the afternoon" and i was like "Naw, it aint about that, you SHOULD be sorry to those kids! No kids deserve to be treated that way!"

And she's like "HE MADE A MESS AND I TOLD HIM TO CLEAN IT UP" and i was like "No mess is worth that kind of retaliation! There's no excuse to be calling them those names! NONE! It's at my mercy child protective services aren't at your door right now!"

And she growled. "Arrrrrrrrgh!" and stormed off. I'm not bout to chase her into her own house, that's grounds for getting shot, so i went home. But I see a shadow coming to my front door, and I beat it there and open it and its the lady's brother or something. Anyway, he apologized for her behavior and said "shes just stressed cuz her mom's going through chemo right now and" and I cut him off with "There's no excuse. Cancer does suck, I'll give you that, but there is literally no reason good enough to treat those children like that on a daily basis. As I said, she needs to be aware that if her behavior towards those kids continues then child services will get involved. I don't want that, she doesn't want that, the kids don't want that.. I don't want to call cops, I don't like them either.. but if she doesn't treat them better these things are possibilities."

and I apologized to the guy for him having to get involved in all of this, that he's done nothing wrong, and that was that. I turned on my heel and walked back inside and shut the door and here we are folks.

Why can't I just stay outta things sometimes? Why do I always have to run out and be a stuporhero?

you're amazing Rahv

That's awesome rahv. You did the right thing and really handled the situation well.

i imagine that this is the kind of parent i will end up being

Dr R wrote:I just confronted a bully like an adult.

Why can't I just stay outta things sometimes? Why do I always have to run out and be a stuporhero?

You did the right thing, especially since it had been going on for some time. If you even begin to doubt it just think about those kids. I'm sure that being sworn at every day is doing nothing good for their mental state of mind, especially by their mother who is supposed to care for them. I think the world would be a better place if everyone stood up for others like this.

Dr R wrote:but I left the shovel inside

Glad you didn't turn the scolding into a murder hahahaha

You did the right thing. Hopefully it'll stop.

good job dr rahv!!

You probably handled that a lot better than I would have, good job Rahvin.

Mad grats, I'm sure we all learned something from this story :) Also, awesome new name

I appreciate all of the feedback on this situation, it makes me feel better knowing I handled it in a mature fashion without stepping on too many toes. It is now time for part 2 of my confrontations with bullies.

Those cops.

So, I went to work today and they had me punch in early, but because of labor laws in Oregon that would mean they would have to give me a half hour break and another 10 minute break if I were to finish my shift entirely, and that's hard to pull off with a small crew, so they let me go early :)

I left at like 8:30pm :)

Also, in the same parking lot, there is a small police storeroom where they stop for their lunches and keep various police stuff and what-have-yous.. Anyway, I see a cop parked car parked there, so I figure: lets face the music and get this over with... so I walked over there and stood around outside until a police lady came out. She was mucho pretty and so I said: "Hey! I have a question...so I've been in Florida for the last two weeks-ish and during that time the police came to my T-Bell asking for a Benny, described me with long red hair, and I was wondering...What's up?"

So the nice police lady is like "Ok, I can try to find out whats going on, whats your full name? mmmhmm..and your birthday? alright.......well...the computer isn't showing anything. What else do you know?"

So I mentioned the gang unit was looking for me, and I told her I'm not in a gang and laughed charmingly with a kinda socially awkward self-depreciation and she was like "Well, i dont know what they wanted with you...the officer in charge of this case is busy right now so until he can get down here I'm gonna have to put you in the car if thats ok."

and I was like "Sure! It's all good!"

And she was like "and to be back there, I gotta put you in handcuffs...are you sure you don't have anything on you?" and i was like "naw, just my cellphone and wallet" and she patted me down and felt around (she was hot, she can feel up wtf/e she wants for all i care) and confirmed I had nothing on me. Then she had me put my hands behind my back and put real metal key-operated handcuffs on me. Fuckin hot as hell man. Fine police woman like her puttin cuffs on me? Hellllll yeah! I needa remember this for the bedroom.

Anyway, she let me get in the cop car on my own, no forcing, no pressure, just me gettin in the back of this cop car. Again, this girl is fine. If for some reason she ever comes across this thread, I mean all of this with the utmost respect. You're a very pretty woman with a nice attitude.

So, I'm sittin in the back of this cop car and we're making small talk about where I work and how long I worked there, and how long she's been a police officer etc, when she gets a call from the cop so she goes outside to take the call. I hear her say "suspect is caucasian male with strawberry blonde hair, long.... no he's been very friendly and helpful, i mean he just walked up to the car and gave me all his info and got in the back without questions... yeah thats what i was thinking" so she gets back in the cop car and shes like "well, you might have to go to jail until we get this sorted out."

And I was like "I understand, i just wanna help with whatever...i mean i'd rather NOT go to jail cuz its my birthday at midnight, but i'll do what I gotta do" and so a few minutes of awkward conversation later and shes like "ok, we think the person who mentioned your name lied to us, you're not the person we're lookin for...we'll stop coming to your work and you're free to go" and I was like "what happened though?"

And she said that there was a robbery out in Beaverton, which is a smaller town on the outskirts of portland, and that some guy said he couldn't have been robbing the place cuz he was working at Taco Bell with a guy named Benny and described me.

She asked me if I'd ever seen the guy, and I didn't recognize him, so I told her I didn't know him. She asked if he possibly had ever worked there, I told her not in the last 2 years and thats all i really know. She thanked me, apologized for all of the inconvenience, wished me a happy birthday, and let me go.

Before I got out of the car I saw her type a message on the cop-computer they have, mentioning how friendly and helpful I was.

Somewhere out there is a cop file with my name, and under it is written: Friendly and helpful. Great... so now I'm gonna get pulled over by any cop having a bad day... and I'll be like "Welcome to Dr. Rahvin's office...take a seat and take a load off. What's on your mind, officer?"

She was unable to give me more information, I guess the information is sensitive, meaning if she talks about it it'll get depressed. I told her that joke. I also told her I always wanted to get cuffed and sit in the back of a cop car but I never wanted to get in trouble, so I wasn't sure how to ever work this goal. I thanked her for giving me that experience, told her I'd have a heck of a story to tell my friends and family, and that was that.

The police will leave me alone, I obviously didn't participate in this robbery, I'm obviously not part of a gang, and because I'm so gosh darn friendly and helpful I'm obviously not the criminal they're lookin for. I may be a social deviant, but I don't want to be evil.

I confronted the bully cops, and it turns out one of them isn't a bully, and she's fine as hell, and married I think. All in all, 10/10 would get almost arrested again. Except the back seat is way too small and hard. Hard plastic, not enough room to sit forward, had to turn sideways to fit.

And uncle rahv is scott free. Also, its my birthday by 6 minutes now and I'm drinking a bottle of champagne all to myself because A) Birthday and B) Finally know I'm not going to jail.

All those coins I threw into wishing wells over the last week have paid off. Don't let anyone tell you those are bunk and superstitious, I'm fine and I'm not gonna question a good thing. Damn, it took me 25 minutes to type this.

Yo, still fuck the police though. You don't ever want to be arrested on some real shit. Realizing on the way to the station that you're going to be spending the night in some metal bed with a 1/2" mattress sucks. Not to mention actually trying to sleep in that bed, when it's cold as fuck, and you only got one blanket.

TBH I just flew on an airline.

Sounds like sleeping in jail would be a better sleep than trying to sleep on a plane :P

But you make a good point...being in that cop car going to jail would be scary. I knew I was gonna be fine though, some kinda insane confidence and belief that I was gonna be fine. Insanity drove me through the entire experience, but I tried to keep her laughing the whole time and did an alright job :)

I would get genuine sometimes and ask about how it was to be a police officer, and commiserate with her daily struggles and talk ill about those who make her job hard, etc... Still freaked me out, I was shaking when I left thats for sure.

Honestly, yet again, that was quite possibly the best thing you could have done.
:clap:

Thanks for the support guys :) It's been weird growing up lately...but it just happens I guess. As you get older you either change a bit or you get stuck.

To get somewhere you've never been you have to do things you've never done, or so i'm told.

Dr R wrote:Thanks for the support guys :) It's been weird growing up lately...but it just happens I guess. As you get older you either change a bit or you get stuck.

To get somewhere you've never been you have to do things you've never done, or so i'm told.

Sniff, our little rahv is growing up :')

Dr R wrote:And she was like "and to be back there, I gotta put you in handcuffs...are you sure you don't have anything on you?" and i was like "naw, just my cellphone and wallet" and she patted me down and felt around (she was hot, she can feel up wtf/e she wants for all i care) and confirmed I had nothing on me. Then she had me put my hands behind my back and put real metal key-operated handcuffs on me. Fuckin hot as hell man. Fine police woman like her puttin cuffs on me? Hellllll yeah! I needa remember this for the bedroom.

shit, so do i