Today in the US we are celebrating Thanksgiving!
For those of you who somehow haven't heard alllll about it, lemme give you a run-down on how shit goes.
Waaaay back in the day, when white people were first getting to our beautiful unraped country they were from a city. A great portion of these people were cityfolk with less-than-basic knowledge of how to live off the land.. So when they flooded out here with all these ignorant folk who expected to see a McDonald's somewhere nearby, and there wasn't one, a lot of them started to starve.
So the native folk watched as we wallowed in the pity of our dying kinsman and felt pretty sad for us, and they reached across the rocky social bridge we'd built just to do the right thing. They showed us how to hunt and farm, and the next winter we were smart enough to know how to feed ourselves so we had extra supplies and no starving people.
Because of the native's generosity and consciences we were given a chance at life in the promise land of eternal freedom. We give thanks to God and the generosity of the natives by feasting one day a year. Also, it was wise to fatten ourselves for the winter so we don't die of being cold as easy :)
The modern day thanksgiving isn't like this though, as holidays tend to vary from century to century.. Today is the day when Americans will feast. We will give thanks for things we are thankful for, sometimes going so far as to write it down on a slip of paper and put that paper in a jar of things they're thankful for as a symbol for their thankfulness. What do we, the fattest country in the world, feast on when it's feast day?
Some things may differ from household to household, as the tradition carries on, but I believe I've hit on the highlights.
Today I'd like to thank you guys for always supporting me, and understanding when life keeps pulling me away. You've kept me fed for many winters, and I hope to never steal your land and force you to go live in the worst parts of the country at the cost of your culture/heritage/self-respect/trust/etc.
A list of things I'm thankful for:
1) My wife
2) My closest friends
3) My job
4) Most cats
5) That we don't live in post apocalypdia
6) EATING SO MUCH FOOD AND DRINKING BEER
7) Sleep
8) Interneeeeeeettttt
9) That all my img and spoiler codes mostly worked
What are you thankful for?
For those of you who somehow haven't heard alllll about it, lemme give you a run-down on how shit goes.
Waaaay back in the day, when white people were first getting to our beautiful unraped country they were from a city. A great portion of these people were cityfolk with less-than-basic knowledge of how to live off the land.. So when they flooded out here with all these ignorant folk who expected to see a McDonald's somewhere nearby, and there wasn't one, a lot of them started to starve.
So the native folk watched as we wallowed in the pity of our dying kinsman and felt pretty sad for us, and they reached across the rocky social bridge we'd built just to do the right thing. They showed us how to hunt and farm, and the next winter we were smart enough to know how to feed ourselves so we had extra supplies and no starving people.
Because of the native's generosity and consciences we were given a chance at life in the promise land of eternal freedom. We give thanks to God and the generosity of the natives by feasting one day a year. Also, it was wise to fatten ourselves for the winter so we don't die of being cold as easy :)
The modern day thanksgiving isn't like this though, as holidays tend to vary from century to century.. Today is the day when Americans will feast. We will give thanks for things we are thankful for, sometimes going so far as to write it down on a slip of paper and put that paper in a jar of things they're thankful for as a symbol for their thankfulness. What do we, the fattest country in the world, feast on when it's feast day?
- Spoiler:
- Spoiler:
Turkey, of course! Because turkeys are so fat and plentiful in their part of the country. This particular turkey has been deep fried for extra goodness.
- Spoiler:
Mashed Potatoes, because some of our new immigrants were scotts and irish, and they were already culturally aligned with potatoes. (Gravy optional, but...why wouldn't you?) Traditionally this gravy is mixed with, if not made from, some of the liquidized turkey fat from the bottom of the baking pan.
- Spoiler:
Green bean casserole. Love it or hate it, you're likely to encounter it at some point in the holiday season. If it's not made with French's fried onions then it ain't a complete green bean casserole. Also, green beans grow well where our forefathers settled.
- Spoiler:
Cranberry sauce! I absolutely detest this stuff, and yes it does normally come out of the can holding its shape for....well... I've never seen it lose its shape. Usually this is turned sideways and sliced like a meat log would be sliced. Maybe this year I'll like it? LOOLNOLOL.
- Spoiler:
Pumpkin pie :):):):):):)
You gotta love the pumpkin pie. This stuff is sweet, no doubt about it. With hints of nutmeg, ginger, and clove, your mouth can't help but water at all those delicious spices. You gotta cool it down with some cool whip or whipped cream. I've been known to eat an entire pie.
- Spoiler:
Beer. There are many households that don't drink beer, where apple cider may take its place, but my roommate insists that I mention that a Thanksgiving without beer and football is simply missing out on the best part of the holiday :)
Some things may differ from household to household, as the tradition carries on, but I believe I've hit on the highlights.
Today I'd like to thank you guys for always supporting me, and understanding when life keeps pulling me away. You've kept me fed for many winters, and I hope to never steal your land and force you to go live in the worst parts of the country at the cost of your culture/heritage/self-respect/trust/etc.
A list of things I'm thankful for:
1) My wife
2) My closest friends
3) My job
4) Most cats
5) That we don't live in post apocalypdia
6) EATING SO MUCH FOOD AND DRINKING BEER
7) Sleep
8) Interneeeeeeettttt
9) That all my img and spoiler codes mostly worked
What are you thankful for?
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