http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/1297566
In case the thread is deleted, here's what I wrote:
"Called as a witness in court case!"
A few days ago I got home to find shit all over the stairs to my front door. You know what the weirdest part was? It was human shit. I then looked across to my neighbors house to see what looked like a homeless man doing the same to their porch! Naturally, I called the police, and as my story seemed far-fetched, it was rather difficult to convince them that this was actually happening, but they were obliged to come check it out. Turns out that he had done this to almost every single front stoop in my neighborhood. But anyways, since I live right near the police station, it took them only a few minutes to arrive, and they managed to catch the guy in the act.
Long story short, I was called to stand for the prosecution. They asked me a few questions, no biggie. The case was pretty black and white; everyone knew he did it. Then, to my surprise, the defense called me to stand. I was actually kind of nervous this time, I wasn't sure what to expect.
He starts out by screaming at me, which was incredibly startling. "You expect me to believe that this cool guy right here shat on your mo'fuckin doorstep?!" he shouted. I replied yes, and he immediately said "Shit, I'm on the wrong fuckin side then," while taking off all of his clothes. "Judge, this case is closed!" he continued. The judge then proceeded to ask what the fuck he was doing, and then saying that no, the case wasn't closed, and that he had to put his clothes back on immediately or else he would be thrown out. "Hell no! I shit on your decision, cracker!" he said, while shitting on the judge's podium. The lawyer hopped off the judges podium, pulled a razor blade out of his pants that were crumpled up into a ball, and started sharpening his dick. When security began to approach him, he pushed it in towards the handle so that it formed a 135 degree angle, threw it, and it boomeranged around the room, decapitating both of the police officers. "That's what you get!" he yelled, and then turned to me. "Hey, do you think he shat on ever doorstep in the neighborhood?" I replied that I doubt that one man could shit that much in one day. "Well shit, this case is back on then!" he said, as he began to glue his dick back together. He jumped onto the judges podium, and started feeding the shit he had laid back up his anus. The homeless man then licked his lips, leaped out of his chair, and ran out of the room, kicking down the door. The defense lawyer then sprinted out after him.
We all turned to the judge and he said that we were dismissed, and that court was out of session.
and heres my 3000th post:
http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/1219560
It all happened so fast. I was at a friends house, and she started acting strange and flirty. She "accidentally" knocked something off the table, and leaned over to get it. My face was practically in her ass. She made it that obvious. She stood back up slowly, and said she wanted to show me something in her bedroom. We get there, and she tells me to look at a poster on the wall. While I wasn't paying attention, she shut the door quietly. I finish analyzing the poster, and turn around. There she was, naked. She throws herself at me, and we topple over onto the floor. She then kissed me vigorously, being merciless to my tongue. While she kissed me, she stuck her hand in my pants, and she had the look of a determined tigress. She pulled my pants off, and practically tore my shirt off. I began to kiss her nipples, nibbling a little, and she moaned. Then I bit her nipple hard, and she told me to go harder. She dared me to bite her nipple off, so I did. She moaned so loudly that my dick was instantly engorged in blood. I swallowed her nipple, and she forced me to lap her blood off the floor. While I did that, she slapped my ass really hard over and over again. Eventually, she flipped me over and sat on my dick. Her vagina was so tight that I was moaning instantly, and she did the same. She then motioned toward her other nipple, and I bit that one off too. After about 30 seconds, we both came, and she went to the hospital fingering herself.
Doesn't matter, had sex.
I'mma just keep an archive here
In case the thread is deleted, here's what I wrote:
"Called as a witness in court case!"
A few days ago I got home to find shit all over the stairs to my front door. You know what the weirdest part was? It was human shit. I then looked across to my neighbors house to see what looked like a homeless man doing the same to their porch! Naturally, I called the police, and as my story seemed far-fetched, it was rather difficult to convince them that this was actually happening, but they were obliged to come check it out. Turns out that he had done this to almost every single front stoop in my neighborhood. But anyways, since I live right near the police station, it took them only a few minutes to arrive, and they managed to catch the guy in the act.
Long story short, I was called to stand for the prosecution. They asked me a few questions, no biggie. The case was pretty black and white; everyone knew he did it. Then, to my surprise, the defense called me to stand. I was actually kind of nervous this time, I wasn't sure what to expect.
He starts out by screaming at me, which was incredibly startling. "You expect me to believe that this cool guy right here shat on your mo'fuckin doorstep?!" he shouted. I replied yes, and he immediately said "Shit, I'm on the wrong fuckin side then," while taking off all of his clothes. "Judge, this case is closed!" he continued. The judge then proceeded to ask what the fuck he was doing, and then saying that no, the case wasn't closed, and that he had to put his clothes back on immediately or else he would be thrown out. "Hell no! I shit on your decision, cracker!" he said, while shitting on the judge's podium. The lawyer hopped off the judges podium, pulled a razor blade out of his pants that were crumpled up into a ball, and started sharpening his dick. When security began to approach him, he pushed it in towards the handle so that it formed a 135 degree angle, threw it, and it boomeranged around the room, decapitating both of the police officers. "That's what you get!" he yelled, and then turned to me. "Hey, do you think he shat on ever doorstep in the neighborhood?" I replied that I doubt that one man could shit that much in one day. "Well shit, this case is back on then!" he said, as he began to glue his dick back together. He jumped onto the judges podium, and started feeding the shit he had laid back up his anus. The homeless man then licked his lips, leaped out of his chair, and ran out of the room, kicking down the door. The defense lawyer then sprinted out after him.
We all turned to the judge and he said that we were dismissed, and that court was out of session.
and heres my 3000th post:
http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/1219560
It all happened so fast. I was at a friends house, and she started acting strange and flirty. She "accidentally" knocked something off the table, and leaned over to get it. My face was practically in her ass. She made it that obvious. She stood back up slowly, and said she wanted to show me something in her bedroom. We get there, and she tells me to look at a poster on the wall. While I wasn't paying attention, she shut the door quietly. I finish analyzing the poster, and turn around. There she was, naked. She throws herself at me, and we topple over onto the floor. She then kissed me vigorously, being merciless to my tongue. While she kissed me, she stuck her hand in my pants, and she had the look of a determined tigress. She pulled my pants off, and practically tore my shirt off. I began to kiss her nipples, nibbling a little, and she moaned. Then I bit her nipple hard, and she told me to go harder. She dared me to bite her nipple off, so I did. She moaned so loudly that my dick was instantly engorged in blood. I swallowed her nipple, and she forced me to lap her blood off the floor. While I did that, she slapped my ass really hard over and over again. Eventually, she flipped me over and sat on my dick. Her vagina was so tight that I was moaning instantly, and she did the same. She then motioned toward her other nipple, and I bit that one off too. After about 30 seconds, we both came, and she went to the hospital fingering herself.
Doesn't matter, had sex.
I'mma just keep an archive here
Last edited by Tateos on Sun Mar 11, 2012 4:14 pm; edited 2 times in total
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