Domainwedged.

It is December 13th and a young man stands in his extremely untidy bedroom. Who is this cool cat?

===>

Your name is Tim Emerson, though you'd prefer to be called by your chumhandle, grimProfessor. You are also be known by your online persona, Killerhammer. Scattered across your room are a couple of representations of your interests, such as a couple REPUTABLE GAMING and BUCKET AFICIONADO MAGAZINES, half finished MODEL AIRPLANES, many PROGRAMMING HANDBOOKS, and SQUIDDLES MERCHANDISE. On your desk sits your LAPTOP and SBURB BETAS. PESTERCHUM is trying to get your attention.



---

(DW SOUNDTRACK [Not going to be used in the adventure, but the songs are what I think fit the characters])

Spoiler:

> Check who the fuck's pestering you.

:jesusNailz [JN] started pestering grimProfessor [GP] at 15:44:
JN: hey
JN: did you get the sburb beta
GP: yeah, it's going to be sweet. you get yours?
JN: yeah
JN: gamebro gave it a pretty rank score though
GP: dude, do you really take gamebro seriously? i'm sure, like, half of their reviewers actually play the games they're reviewing.
JN: haha
JN: no
JN: it's just the only game magazine that had a review of it
GP: i don't think the reviewer even looked at the game.
JN: ov's been bugging me about playing it with him
GP: and you want me to play with him so he'll stop bugging you?
GP: is he 'mackin on you so hard that you feel sorry for him'?
GP: where have i seen this before?
JN: so will you play with him
GP: yeah sure.
JN: thanks bro
JN: i gotta go do homework
:jesusNailz [JN] has ceased pestering grimProfessor [GP] at 15:48:

> Open your internet browser and go to mspaintadventures.com

You have no idea how this fits in with the story, but then again, you stopped reading after the Scratch.

>Tim: Check chumlist

It looks like DD and JN are on.

>Tim: Retrieve arms from something or other!

You already have your arms, you just can't see them because you're represented by text!

>Tim: Check your Fetch Modus and Strife Specibus

You use the WALLET MODUS because you prefer everything to not be a fucking federal case all the time. Your STRIFE PORTFOLIO contains the DUALDAGGERKIND and ~ATHKIND SPECIBI.

Pesterchum is bugging you. It looks like JN is trying to get your attention. Whatever, that dude can hold his damn horses, OV just came online.

:grimProfessor [GP] began pestering octagonVisionary [OV] at 16:02:

GP: hey, jN told me that you wanted to play sburb.
OV: Oh, did he pass off the burden of playing a simple video game with me to you?
GP: nah, he just casually mentioned that you wanted to play when it came up in the conversation.
OV: Spare me your lies, killer. I know how that asshole works.
GP: so, are you certain about who plays with you or are you fine with me, a humble peasant, playing a computer game with someone of your stature?
OV: Shut up. Message me when you've installed the game.
GP: k.

:grimProfessor [GP] ceased pestering octagonVisionary [OV] at 16:05:

:jesusNailz [JN] began pestering grimProfessor [GP] at 15:59:

JN: have you talked to him yet
JN: pls say yes

:jesusNailz [JN] is an idle chum!:

>install SBURB BETAS

Rock Knight wrote:>install SBURB BETAS

Alas, your laptop's cd drive is busted! You sent for a USB one last week, so it should be here by now. You check out your window and see that there is a package in front of your door, but your cat, Boson, appears to be sleeping on it. It's gonna take a lot to wake him up.

>take laptop outside and play music at a high noise-itude

That won't work. He usually only wakes up when exactly thirty two quadrillion uranium atoms reach their half-lives. Fortunately, you always keep a can of uranicatfood on hand. You pull the can out of your wallet and wrench the lid off of it. As the atoms scream as their torn apart, you hear a strange ripping noise as Boson tears through space and time to reach the source of the food. You empty the can into his lead food dish and he begins to eat it. Good cat, best friend. You run out of your room and yank open your front door.

YOU GOT: 1 (one) USB DISK DRIVE

You put the disk drive in your wallet to retrieve it later.

>get that usb in there, and install the fuck out of those SBURB BETAS.

tHe cOlOrs. :o)

You start to mes-

*DUBBLE BUBBLE TOIL AND ANTICLIMACTIC CHARACTER SWITCHAROO*

You are now COLIN IDGAF, or as you are better known, OMEGAFORCE. You're also known as jesusNailz on pesterchum. Your room shows most of your interests, such as VIDEO GAMES, PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING, and DAT ASS. Your SBURB BETAS are placed on top of your TELEVISION, next to half full CAN OF CHIPS. You have just finished pestering your friend, grimProfessor, about playing the game with OV.

>Colin: Use your mad wrestling skills to LAY THE SMACKDOWN on something

You flip on your TELEVISION.



Damn fucking right.

You take this opportunity to don a pair of SICK MUTHAFUCKIN' SHADES.

You don't even need to lay the smackdown on anything when you have this clip. You enjoy the enormous influx of MANGRIT from just the simple act of watching this glorious smackdown. Your VIM stat is absolutely MAXED OUT!

Someone is pestering you!

:digitalDragon [DD] began pestering jesusNailz [JN]:
DD: Hey omega!
DD: :D
JN: sup
DD: Nothing much, you?
JN: nothin, just gettin fuckin pumped
DD: I was wondering...
DD: did you get sburb yet?
JN: yeah
JN: i just got ov off of my back
JN: he's been bugging me about it all day
DD: Ah, I see.
DD: Have you talked to killer at all today?
JN: yeah, i just got done talking to him
JN: why
DD: I want to wish him a happy birthday!
DD: :D
JN: shit
JN: i forgot
JN: hold on, i have to message him

:jesusNailz [JN] is an idle chum!:

:jesusNailz [JN] began pestering grimProfessor [GP]:
JN: have you talked to him yet
JN: pls say yes

:jesusNailz [JN] is an idle chum!:

GP: yeah, i just got done installing the game.
GP: he's officially off your back bro.
JN: cool
JN: well anyway
JN: happy birthday bro
GP: thanks!
JN: dd wanted to get a hold of you too
JN: so expect a message from him
GP: k, i will.
GP: i have to tell aj that i've installed the game
JN: k

:jesusNailz [JN] has ceased pestering grimProfessor [GP]:

>Eat from half empty CAN OF CHIPS to regain hunger

You go on a quest to reduce your hunger stat by GETTING MAD SNACKS, YO. You scarf down the can of SOUR CREAM AND ONION PRINGLES, but not before retrieving a can of MOUNTAIN DEW from your SYLLADEX.

Someone's pestering you!

:deadlyTorero [DT] began trolling jesusNailz [JN]:

DT: hI.
JN: oh no
JN: not you again
DT: wHAT's wRONG wITH mE? :<
JN: you are an idiot
DT: dON'T mAKE mE tHROW dOWN tHE, uh, gAUNTLET, bRO.
JN: see
JN: it's because of that
JN: if i was to see you on the street
JN: i'd lay the smackdown on you so hard
DT: nUH-uH
JN: i've got better things to do

:jesusNailz [JN] ceased pestering deadlyTorero [DT]:

DT: aW dANG...
DT: :<